Long way to Southport (bloody long way!)

Well it all started with Richard suggesting he wanted to try out the route he had previously done, again! alarm bells by this time should have been ringing, but I thought, hey, Southport, that's only 25 miles on the map how bad can it be, well lets go through this stage at a time (what I remember) First was the getting across to Richards, now normally not a problem as I do this every day but today it decided that it wanted to rain.
By the time I got to Richards I was perspiring rather, this was due to rain and extremely warm air which was a recipe for sticky body syndrome.
At Richards we saddled up after a very nice cup of posh coffee from Richards clever machine.
The first part was through houses and fields until we reached a constructed track (Trans Pennine link) here I got a puncture going through an underpass that some clever notrights had decided to pepper with glass.
Puncture fixed we were on the way again, we sped on for quite a distance before the first of 2 dog incidents, as usual people seem to think that dogs have a brain, they don't, they have an organ that lets them eat, shit and hump and that's it, they have no spacial awareness and are as thick as PIG SH*T. This dog decided that it was a good idea to throw itself under my front wheel, now on a normal road bike this would spell disaster but thanks to the invention of disc brakes I managed to put the nose into the ground and the rear wheel air born, my first front wheel wheelie.
Second incident was at Sale water park where 2 dogs belonging to a neanderthal decided to fight under my front wheel, "sorry mate" was the reply.
Any way the journey continued with me starting to wonder just how far is this route that Richard has us doing? don't get me wrong, I was enjoying the ride as it was all new terrain and with good company.
Anyway the last incident included a narrow path beside a rendering plant that smelt of death and an old lady out for the first time in years, it transpired that if she ran her handlebar down a slatted wooden fench and leave enough room to get a bus between us she could get passed me, but instead she decided to bounce off the fench then off me and back off the fench.
Well it came to pass that cheap bikes break and bend easy and that handle bars and breaks don't like to be spun around, my bike was fine but hers was a joke.
Now after this little incident we had a fun bit, some long shallow wooden stairs that go down a severe drop, the only draw back was the bike stops on every flight, still managed to have fun though.
Through Liverpool and some of its less salubrious areas ,Speke ,you don't break down or get a puncture here you pick the bike up and run, don't look back, just run!
Anyway the end, we made it to Southport and Richard decided to show off one more time with a set of steps down to the chippy, I did not bother as my legs were shot to buggery.
At the chippy we had sausage and chips and 2 cups of Tea and a mineral water, the old girl should have been wearing a ski mask and carrying a sorn off, this was not enough as when we got to the train station I had 2 Choc bars and a Choc milk shake.
We caught the 19.05 train back home, getting off at West Houghton as this was the most central and easiest stop for both of us.
Got home just gone 20.00 hrs and 84 enjoyable and achey miles later.
Will do the other half of the trans Pennine trail another summer as I think I need to spend the next 2 months getting in some good ole cross country we had started earlier in the year.